I was happy to put 2010 behind me. It had not been a good year, but I was hopeful that 2011 would bring much needed relief from the dark cloud that loomed over us. In the process of dealing with things I never dreamed I would encounter, I grew closer to God. I feel His presence beside me. I feel His hand guiding me, teaching me – and I have a lot to learn. I pray daily for patience. And the more I pray for it, the more reasons He gives me to practice it. Sometimes I laugh when talking to Him, “Okay God, I hate to pray for patience again cause, wow, do you ever given me reason to practice. But here goes…” And again He smiles down on me and gives me one more reason to practice my patience. I pray for strength. I’ve always admired strong women, but never felt like one, but I’m learning. My husband keeps assuring me that I am indeed strong. My kids do too. I’m not convinced yet.
My husband continues his weekly treks to Houston to help his elderly relatives. The trips have gotten tedious and expensive, but being the man that he is, he never complains. Not once! I was finally able to go with him for a couple of days and was shocked to see just how much these two people that we love so dearly were suffering. His aunt had been transferred to a rehab hospital, but his uncle hadn’t made it there yet. Honestly, no one really believed that he would ever make it out of the hospital. At 6’1″ the uncle was now only 121 pounds. They both looked very weak and frail.
Now that the surgery was behind mom it was time to deal with the dementia. We were referred to a psychologist in October who was to do testing and an evaluation of mom’s mental state, but he thought it best to wait until after the surgery. We agreed. First we had to take mom off of the medicine that controlled her hallucinations. They returned with a vengeance. She saw people walking up, saw things that weren’t there, but mainly she just saw my granddaughter who she adores – over and over. One day while at my home, she saw my granddaughter arrive multiple times. “Oh, there’s Peanut!”, mom would say. And I just smiled and kept cooking. We both acted like nothing had been said when no one entered the house. Then she began approaching the door and beckoning her in, once even bending down and asking her if she was feeling better, only no one was there to answer. When my son and his girlfriend were late arriving for dinner, she started seeing them. Mom would walk to the door, look out and announce that they were finally there. Again, I just smiled. It did no good to correct her. She saw people arrive at least 15 times. Her hallucinations were the worse I’d seen.
Leave a comment